Dads don’t get a lot of credit for being soothing, nurturing types. But if you ask most dads, you’ll find that, out of love and sheer necessity, they have indeed developed their own special ways to soothe their babies. Here’s how it’s done:
Feel your baby’s pain
Putting on your baby’s favourite reggae CD will not stop her being hungry, nor will a teething baby stop crying when you change her nappy. In other words, first find the real reason your baby is crying. Yes, this seems almost too logical, but when the crying train gets going, logic is usually left at the station.
Try the pinky
If you’re not sure what’s causing the problem, wash your hands then whip out your littlest finger and offer it to your baby to suck on. This could be a much better alternative to the “handing-baby-back-to-partner” technique. The key is to insert your finger upside down, so that you don’t scratch the roof of your baby’s mouth with your fingernail.
Get a drink
For the baby, we mean. Try offering your baby a warm bottle of expressed breast milk or formula.
Rock and swing
Babies love movement – and what better way to swing around than in daddy’s strong arms? “Our detachable car seat doubled as a baby carrier,” says Eric Jones, father of one. “When my daughter started to cry, I would lean against a chair or wall and swing the infant seat back and forth.” Eric calls this the “dual-purpose swing,” as it worked both as a baby sedative and a form of exercise. “I eventually stopped using this method when I noticed my right arm muscles were more developed than the left,” he says.
Cut a rug
We could suggest tossing your baby in the air and catching her, but though your child will love it, your partner probably won’t. So you could try this little move, submitted by veteran dad James Rothson, as an alternative. Hold your baby up to your shoulder and wrap his arms around your neck. Then, dance gently – rocking slowly back and forth -with a spin or two thrown in for good measure. Draw the curtains if you feel that nosey neighbours might be cramping your style. Tap the floor with your foot and try chanting. It doesn’t really matter what you chant, as long as it’s repetitive and matches the beat of your dance. Gradually lower your voice as your baby begins to quiet. And he will.
Fine-tune embarrassing personal stunts
Bodily function noises. Horrific contorted faces. Spontaneous belly flops onto the nearest hard surface. Finally, there is a positive outlet for the physical gags you’ve practiced since childhood. Try BabyCentre dad Mark Browne’s trick: this father of two has turned cries into stares and giggles by putting something on his head, letting it fall off, and shouting, “Oh no, they fell again!”. Repeat until boredom (baby’s) sets in. This may take some time.
Rock and sing
For many, this could easily fit under “embarrassing personal stunts.” Lee, another BabyCentre dad, could quiet his first son, Andrew, by singing Patsy Cline’s “Crazy,” a beautiful albeit depressing song that doesn’t teach a baby much about positive relationships. Mark Browne recommends any song by Ray Charles, as he contends it’s the swaying motion, not the song itself, which will soothe. However, respect your baby’s taste, too: Mark was “met with little success” when imitating Pavarotti while singing “Hush Little Baby.”
Wear your baby
Place the baby in a front-loading sling. Between the warmth of your body, the rhythmic beating of your heart, the rise and fall of your breathing, and the gentle swaying motion as you walk, at least one of you should be asleep in minutes.
Wait it out
Mums may view this as a decidedly detached and therefore “male” approach, but sometimes, babies are just going to cry – and sometimes what they want is for you to listen. If your baby’s not in pain, she’s not hungry, tired, or wet, and she doesn’t want to be held or rocked, then let her cry, at least for as long as you can stand it.
Hand the baby to your partner
At times, you may want to fall back on the oldest standby of all: tell her you tried.
